I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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