I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
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There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
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Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.