Texts From Last Night

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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..

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  (803): No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick.. http://tfl.nu/tonx
  Replies (23) Good night (6541) Bad night (1278)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.

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  (314): i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk. http://tfl.nu/227n
  Replies (11) Good night (4268) Bad night (1005)
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  (408): View more from California

  I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.

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  (408): I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class. http://tfl.nu/di0h
  Replies (14) Good night (6966) Bad night (1468)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.

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  (815): Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites. http://tfl.nu/zd6b
  Replies (27) Good night (1481) Bad night (5205)
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  (247): View more from

  Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.

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  (247): Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me. http://tfl.nu/wk5w
  Replies (11) Good night (1069) Bad night (4473)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.

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  (949): Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices. http://tfl.nu/flw8
  Replies (6) Good night (3445) Bad night (1465)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.

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  (512): I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun. http://tfl.nu/d4m3
  Replies (21) Good night (2891) Bad night (1089)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus

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  (215): I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus http://tfl.nu/7gt9
  Replies (5) Good night (1428) Bad night (671)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza

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  (484): Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza http://tfl.nu/hmnl
  Replies (0) Good night (1206) Bad night (563)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.

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  (330): You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes. http://tfl.nu/v1u1
  Replies (2) Good night (972) Bad night (451)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.

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  (647): Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms. http://tfl.nu/bqwg
  Replies (5) Good night (716) Bad night (381)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing

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  (914): Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing http://tfl.nu/dzxw
  Replies (1) Good night (1271) Bad night (414)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.

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  (570): No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits. http://tfl.nu/elom
  Replies (2) Good night (576) Bad night (313)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life

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  (610): Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life http://tfl.nu/zhdb
  Replies (2) Good night (454) Bad night (616)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester

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  (305): I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester http://tfl.nu/9j7i
  Replies (4) Good night (867) Bad night (352)

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