Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out

  (1-904): View more from Florida

  How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?

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  (904): Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out (1-904): How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction? http://tfl.nu/euyr
  Replies (8) Good night (1836) Bad night (917)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends

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  (507): Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends http://tfl.nu/oo5w
  Replies (12) Good night (1235) Bad night (1704)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.

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  (408): We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old. http://tfl.nu/3zai
  Replies (17) Good night (5950) Bad night (882)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I'm watching ellen!

  (1-615): View more from Tennessee

  just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show

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  (615): I'm watching ellen! (1-615): just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show http://tfl.nu/chlu
  Replies (12) Good night (11575) Bad night (1672)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Thanks for getting me home last night.

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.

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  (281): Thanks for getting me home last night. (832): No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa. http://tfl.nu/wftp
  Replies (29) Good night (9257) Bad night (1261)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.

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  (609): His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me. http://tfl.nu/x400
  Replies (36) Good night (1322) Bad night (8645)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.

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  (216): I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast. http://tfl.nu/0c0z
  Replies (4) Good night (2274) Bad night (639)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.

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  (267): Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her. http://tfl.nu/ywpc
  Replies (23) Good night (1061) Bad night (3232)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour

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  (937): Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour http://tfl.nu/gdsh
  Replies (12) Good night (2531) Bad night (675)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.

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  (425): She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude. http://tfl.nu/4r57
  Replies (1) Good night (475) Bad night (1021)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.

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  (337): he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy. http://tfl.nu/oyxi
  Replies (5) Good night (1082) Bad night (455)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?

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  (541): So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right? http://tfl.nu/c92i
  Replies (3) Good night (629) Bad night (644)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes

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  (269): I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes http://tfl.nu/b7m2
  Replies (2) Good night (703) Bad night (437)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night

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  (214): You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night http://tfl.nu/tn8h
  Replies (4) Good night (944) Bad night (442)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.

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  (540): This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus. http://tfl.nu/cdhc
  Replies (1) Good night (317) Bad night (595)

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