The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize