We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
