I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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