Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize