we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
