oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
