the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Randomize
