Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Randomize
