kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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