high people should be assigned attendants
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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