Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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