Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
organizing the empties. That sober.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
