Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
