He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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