East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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