is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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