I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize