batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
