Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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