Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
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