addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
