dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
