listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
