I don't think brook has ever known best
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
