consequently i now know what mace tastes like
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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