DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
