I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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