..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
