If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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