sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
