The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
It's official drugs can't kill me
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
