My friends, they love my intelligence
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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