well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
