If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
