she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I had to cum in my sink.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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