I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
they need to just BURY HIM!
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
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If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
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Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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