We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
