Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm just crazy horny about you
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
