So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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