I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
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Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
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It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.