We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.