I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
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Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
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I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?