Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
