I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
