we have officially mastered the walk of shame
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Randomize
