If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
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He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
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When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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