you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
