This dress was meant to end up on your floor
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
