Do vagina's smell?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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