Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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