Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
