I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
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I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
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Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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