Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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