yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
