Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
