you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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