I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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