I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Is it because I queefed?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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